On June 10th of 1960, my mother, Mary Margaret McCarn Henry was born. She grew up in a family with a bunch of sisters and one brother. Her mother was not around for her childhood and her father was a drunk, but fortunes shifted when they got adopted by Brenda Inman, and they grew up in a stable home from there on. I was born on May 19, 1982. From the outset, she paid attention to me and who I was as a person, and took the time to help me cultivate my talents and strengths. She knew I was a drummer from the beginning, and always encouraged my musical development. There was always a radio on, even in the kitchen, where she would let me beat on pots and pans, or literally just about anything else.
She always worked hard to make sure we got by. She was tough when she had to be. She often worked multiple jobs to pay the bills and keep food on the table and clothes on our backs, and while we never had an abundance of material things, we were never lacking. I don’t recall missing too many meals in my life (and it shows). As a kid, many of my friends had a room full of toys. In my room, I had some toys (that I cherished) but I also had puzzles, activity books, drawing paper, and things that stimulated my mind and creativity. She taught me a lot about making your dollar count and how to budget to make the most of your money. I learned a great deal about patience, perseverance, and being practical. I learned not to take pride in material things, but rather to do right, work hard, and take pride in your passions and relationships. Another thing is that she has always dealt with life through a lens of humor. She encouraged me to be silly, and even when the chips were down, she had something silly to say or some joke to be made of it.
I had friends of many colors, cultures, countries, and ages. Racism and prejudice were not things I ever learned. I was always taught to judge people by the content of their character and their actions, not by some superficial difference. I was always taught to think for myself and rationalize things. I was also encouraged to express myself and develop my vocabulary so that I could better communicate my thoughts and feelings. Communication and psychology was a big focus in our house. Art and the arts were also encouraged. I was in Martial Arts from the age of 10 until I was an adult. I dabbled in sports too, but my creativity was more my passion.
Beyond all of this though, I have always been able to talk to my Mom, 100% from the heart. No holding back, no secrets. Honesty and Respect were always paramount, and it is why she is one of my best friends to this day. When I was young and I got in trouble, before any punishment, we would sit and talk about what I did, and why I was being punished, so she knew that I completely understood the cause and effect, but also why it was wrong. So important, and so few seemed to have been given that crucial information. Not simply that something was wrong, but why, and the effects those wrongs would or did have on others around me. Not just thinking from my own vantage point, but always an understanding that what we do affects others too.
Now, I know I have talked about myself in this a great deal, but I came into this world an empty vessel (save for my essence of course) and the true test of any parent, their legacy, is how they raised their kids and what they filled those vessels up with. In this regard, I would have to say you did an awesome job Mom! (I know, I am a tad biased) Not only has it helped me and prepared me for my life, but it is a reflection of who you are as both a parent and a person. I love you very much Mom and I wish you the happiest 60th birthday. I truly wish I could be there to help you celebrate, but your boy is working hard for the future, as we often do in our middle ages. I am hoping soon you will get to see the fruits of these labors and then we can truly spend some good times together and see what this was all working towards! I love you very much and you are always in my heart!
– Your Son
